So, about Instagram

I would just like to take a quick moment to speak about what is quite possibly my favorite social platform, Instagram. I freaking love Instagram. I have often considered moving my blog to Instagram because no one wants to read what I write anyway.

However, I do think there some things you should and should not post on Instagram. Listen to these tips. I am a professional.

Continue Posting These Things:

photo

Photos of yourself lookin’ all fresh: You have to be careful with this one. Don’t turn into that girl with an Instagram account full of bathroom mirror shots. You gotta get creative with the selfie, y’all. If you just got a blowout — girl, you better show that ish off! You look hot. Own it!  A blowout only lasts, like, 12 hours tops. That hair needs to be documented for posterity.

Your Food: There are people who may disagree with me on this, but those people are wrong. Continue to post photos of your birthday fois gras or that “homemade” salad you made. I also enjoy the food captions greatly. Like when people call basic spaghetti, “fresh basil and tomato infused red sauce over organic bow tie pasta with hand grated parmesan cheese.” Continue doing that.

The city you live in: Many of the people I follow live in NYC, aka the most photogenic city in the world. Yes, I have seen the NYC skyline, like, a bajillion times by now. However, when you put the right filter on the Chryster Building, something inside me changes and I fall in love with it all over again. The same goes for you DC folks. The Capitol Building never gets old. Neither do photos of affluent Georgetown neighborhoods.

Throw Back Thursday: Let’s never stop doing this.

Artsy shots of random things: Nail polish bottles are art. I want to see them through your creative vision. While you’re at it, slap some Lo-Fi on that shot to boost the color.

Your outfit/nails: Because, obviously.

Things you should stop posting:

i-am-instagram-nobody-perfect-quote-Favim.com-316846

Screen shots of quotes: These quotes never make sense. They always say something absurd like, “No matter how deep the river, all you have to do is believe you can cross it to reach your dreams.” What? I don’t understand this. Save your dumb quotes for Pinterest (Yes, I have a dumb Pinterest quote board — and it’s the best.)

You ‘taking a nap’ with your significant other: This is bad because it perpetuates a lie. We all know  ”sleeping in each others arms” is a myth created by Nicholas Sparks to sell books and make women think their relationships are inadequate. Also, we know the couple-sleeping photo is just a glorified selfie. So basically you are pretending to be asleep, which is just too embarrassing. If there is a third person in the room photographing your slumber, please stop what you’re doing and call the police.

Screen shots of those little yellow iPhone notes: This scenerio plays out something like this: Person writes, “If u aren’t gonna call me back, fine… if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” in their notepad on their iPhone. Then said person takes a screen shot of the note and posts it on Insagram. This is a mistake because Instagram is about making photographic art out of nail polish bottles, not passive agression. Also, we are skirting dangerously into FB territory with that type of behavior. I don’t care about your relationship, I care about what color your nails are. Post your nails.

Anything else you want to add?

photo source

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Brights and Stripes

chunky necklaceSome pieces are just designed to wear over and over. For example, I got this striped jacket at H&M ages ago and it is the perfect Spring/Summer jacket even after all these years. Secondly, I did my first DIY nail art this week. I tried this polka dot nail design I saw on Pinterest. I think I need a bit more practice, but I am still pretty proud of the outcome.

maxi skirt

brights and stripes

spotted nailsSkirt: Shabby Apple | Jacket: H&M | Shirt: American Apparel | Necklace: J.Crew

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Print Mixing

print mixingYou guys a few wonderful things have happened lately in life.  #1) The weather has taken a turn for the better. #2) I don’t have to wear tights every day anymore. #3) I can wear bright prints on the regular. #4) It is now acceptable for me to drink sangria daily. I won’t, of course, but I can if I so choose.

mixing prints

florals and checksShoes: J. Crew Factory | Skirt: J. Crew Factory | Shirt: J. Crew

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Your Summer Commandments

summer

 Thou shalt think twice before thou chooses to wear shorts — as shorts are often cruel mistresses that ride up in the middle. Sometimes skirts are thy best choice.

 Thou shalt indulge in funnel cakes because diets are for quitters.

 Thou shalt wear sunscreen daily. No excuses.

 Thou shalt not compare thyself to other women at the pool/beach. Thou is a gorgeous swim queen.

 Thou shalt not go see The Hangover 3. Why is that happening, btw?

 Thou shalt openly embrace this summer’s embarrassingly awesome pop anthem because yolo.

 Thou shalt consider embracing the maxi skirt/dress trend because it is just so cute.

 Froyo — it should happen often.

 Thou shalt treat thyself to the perfect bathing suit — and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bikini.

 Thou shalt embrace every moment of summer because before we know it winter shall arriveth again. Winter is terrible.

Photo from Pinterest

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BAMF — in Keds.

black and neon |ClarabelleAlso, you guys, do we remember this skirt being this short? Because without tights it is really short.

black, neon, keds | Clarabelle

neon and black | ClarabelleShirt: Fab.com | Skirt: Tobi | Shoes: Keds

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Rainy Days

Clarabelle | Rainy DaysHere’s a fun fact. The building behind me is the tomb of Ulysses S. Grant, American Civil War General and 18th President of the United States. Who’da thunk ole Grant would be buried in a gigantic tomb in Harlem? Well he was, and the building is very beautiful. I highly recommend that you visit it if you are ever in town.

In other news, it was raining during these photos so my hair isn’t looking it’s best. Sorry, not sorry.

rainy days Clarabelle

Clarabelle

clarabelle | Rainy DaysShoes: Nine West | Dress: Banana Republic | Bag: Persifor

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Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

flower crown| ClarabelleI feel like flower crowns are having a bit of a moment. I have seen them crop up on some of my favorite e-retailers, and I’ve spotted a few girls wearing them on the street. Flower crowns are undeniably fun, so I was so thrilled when Monique Martin of Harvested by Monique offered to make me one of her custom flower crowns. Monique only makes custom flower crowns which is great because you get exactly what you want. Wanna know the best part? Most of her crowns are under $20. This is a no brainer. Get yoself one! Email Monique at: harvestedby@gmail.com.

flower crown and tulle |Clarabelle

flowers and tulle | Clarabelle

tulle and flowers | ClarabelleSkirt: Alexandra Grecco | Shirt Asos | Shoes: J. Crew | Crown: Harvested by Monique

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