You know when you are little and your mother finds something repulsive and gross and as you get older you tend to find it repulsive and gross as well? That is what happened to me. My mother hates bad table manners so much that the Brown family has silent eating down to a science.
There is to be no crunching of chips, smacking of gum, or slurping of soup whatsoever. We eat with manners in our household and trust me, Momma Brown will go off if you do otherwise.
Now, before I go forward, let me tell you: I am no queen at the table. I occasionally slip up and smack my lips, but I try not to make it a habit.
HOWEVER, I was riding on a train and the woman sitting in the row next to mine got lunch. Her table manners closely resembles that of a hippopotamus and that got me thinking: lots of people have really bad table manners. It’s a wonder that there is an obesity epidemic, people swallow so much air that I dunno how they fit any food in their stomachs… and don’t even get me started on the gum or you’ll be reading all day.
Anyway, the point is, people need to learn how to eat. Watch the Discovery Channel. If you eat the same way the apes eat, you need to re-evaluate. It’s gross when you smack your lips and it’s annoying when you pop your gum. Go to etiquette class or something. Jeez.