The other day I forgot my sunglasses, a staple in my wardrobe, people. Even if I forget my good sunnies, I usually have some bootleg free ones floating around in my purse. The other day, I was sunk. There was not a single protective eye piece in sight. This unfortunate event dramatically changed the course of my day. For real, y’all.
♥ I looked decidedly less cool: During the week, I don’t always wear blog-worthy outfits. Usually I wake up approximately 15 minutes before I need to leave for work. A deliciously carb-filled breakfast is my #1 priority in the morning, clothing is second, and hair and makeup is a distant third. Half the time, I leave for work looking half-past crazy. So I need sunglasses to morph that crazy look into “cool”.
♥ The sun. was. burning: The point of sunglasses is to shield your precious eye balls from the sun’s harmful rays. In Manhattan this is especially important since half the buildings are made of glass so everything is super reflective. I vividly remember rounding a corner and feeling like the fire of a thousand suns was burning my irises.
♥ The staring problem: Here’s a fun fact about me. I stare. A lot. Staring is my way of getting to know people without actually having to talk to them. I don’t discriminate, either. I will stare at anyone who catches my eye. My staring is partially due to the fact that seeing is not my best sense (i.e. I am blind but don’t wear my glasses often) but it is mostly because I am curious about others. Where did that girl get her skirt? Is that homeless man actually a serial killer? Why is that man still sagging his pants like this is 1992? I find that staring helps me answer these questions for myself. With sunglasses I can stare in peace. Without sunglasses people’s reactions to my staring range from confusion to anger to an opening for unwanted romantic advances.
♥ The squinting: Brightness induced squinting is unflattering on everyone. It kind of looks like a deranged smile. Squinting also promotes the development of crows feet (fear the Old Face!). The best way to avoid unnecessary squinting is to not forget your sunglasses. Or break them.
Have you ever forgotten your sunglasses? Did it give you a raging case of the terribles like it did to me?