Bangs: An Analysis

bangsLast weekend, I got me some bangs. I have had them for approximately five days and they have already changed my life — for worse and for better (like marriage!). Here’s why:

The Good:

The bangs, overall, are quite lovely. I look exactly like Zooey Deschanel with bangs. In fact, people have stopped me on the street and they are all like, “Omg,  are you Zooey Deschanel??” and I am all like, “Oh, hehehe yes no. It’s just my amazing bangs!”

So that is good.

The Bad:

I have prided myself in waking up (about) thirty minutes before I need to leave my apt to get to the office on time each morning. That thirty minutes is usually broken down as follows:

  • 7:31: After hitting the snooze button a million times I emerge groggily from my bed looking like a monster
  • 7:31- 7:34: Get dressed
  • 7:34-7:52: Complain to myself about how tired I am and how everything is the worst.
  • 7:52 – 7:57: Brush teeth
  • 7:57 – 8:09: Eat breakfast (Yes, I know I should brush my teeth after breakfast, but I have an unbreakable routine. The idea of breaking this delicate a.m. order is unthinkable.)
  • 8:09: Leave

You will notice that “do my hair” is not a line item. Because, during the week, I do not do my hair. I usually wake up, throw my hair into some bootleg version of the topknot and resume complaining about my tiredness.

With bangs, all of this has changed. I must now do my bangs. Which requires complex tools like a flat iron and heat protection spray. Now, I still don’t do the rest of my hair (that’s asking too much). But I must make sure I give my bangs the love and attention they need and deserve. This also means that my morning has been entirely thrown off and I have to cut down on my morning complaints by about five minutes.

So that’s not as good.

The end.


Filed under beauty

15 responses to “Bangs: An Analysis

  1. Your bangs (and the rest of your hair, too) are so cute! Definitely worth upsetting the morning routine a little, IMHO. Besides, you can always add your morning complaints to blog posts, and your loyal readers will commiserate with you :-)

  2. Our morning routines are eerily similar, though I usually spend at least 8-11 minutes pre-bed-emergement thoroughly considering all options on how to avoid whatever it is I have to do.

    That’s where the similarities end though. I look like Boo from Monsters Inc when I have bangs. You look like a supahmodel.

    Samantha @ Sam ipsa loquitur

  3. I totally understand you! My hair is ridiculously thin, so it takes me tops 10 minutes to blow dry, straighten, and style my hair. I can’t imagine having to take any longer than that!


  4. Kamari Chelsea

    Super duper cute Clare!

  5. rachelfashionablyliving

    I love your bangs! Your morning sounds about like mine…lol!

    Rachel Ashley

  6. LOL! That extra five minutes is worth because you look great with bangs! I on the other hand need at least 15 minutes extra if I’m going to do anything with my hair other than a pony. Otherwise, my hair is like a wet blanket.

  7. Tee hee! I love your sense of humor — keepin’ it real! Loving the bangs btw. D:) — that’s a smiley face w/ bangs

  8. bahahahah i am dying. the best. hilarious. LOVE the bangs.

  9. Ingrid

    very cute, but I hate to break it to you: bangs are even more work during the hot humid days of Summer (still worth it though!)

  10. Those bangs look amazing on you! I can’t remember my life without bangs so I agree that they are slightly more high maintainence to look after.

  11. I love the bangs! And I actually heard on GMA once that it’s best to brush your teeth BEFORE breakfast, because breakfast-y foods and drinks (like orange juice) are actually really acidic so brushing protects the enamel. So you’re good.

  12. Pingback: Another Brick in the Wall | Clarabelle

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