Here’s a story: Today, on the subway coming from work, I saw a strapping, young, gentleman on his way home to Harlem wearing a Civil War hat. He looked exactly like this — except he was strapping and in Armani jeans (he was also black — which I found especially weird because we black folks don’t tend to dwell on the Civil War much.):
Now, you see, there are a lot of strange fashion statements in New York City. That is one of the NYC perks that make paying 75% of your salary on rent less horrible and soul-sucking. So usually, I would simply smile — a special New York smile-but-only-inside-your-head-so-you-don’t-get-trafficked-smile — and then I would forget about the black man dressed in a Robert E. Lee hat on the subway. However, this is the THIRD Civil War hat I have seen on a man in the past month.
This leads me to believe that these Civil War hats might just be becoming a bonafide early-adopter NYC trend. This means that in a few short months every man in America will be wearing Civil War hats. And, ladies, you know how men hold on to their trends (they are still sagging their pants — still). I want you to envision, thirty-five years in the future, when men are still wearing dingy old Civil War hats. I find this unsettling. I personally don’t want to see guys starting to think trends from the Civil War are cool. They aren’t.
Is the creepy Civil War vibe really what you want to give off to the ladies, men-folk? I didn’t think so.
Baseball caps it is!
Guys, please, don’t let this happen. Just wear baseball hats. Those are fine.